Friendship. Honestly too many people downplay the importance of friendship in life. In most cases it only comes after the importance of family or a relationship. But this doesn't mean friendship should be neglected. Its value is more important to some than others I guess.
I am not going to give a summary of everything related to friendship but I will try getting a few things off my chest. The first thing I want to talk about is flaking. Flaking to some people is not a big deal but I think it should always be considered a big deal, especially when it comes to close friends. Part of being a good friend is making yourself available for each other when possible. Trying to hang out every day is ridiculous but if you are close with people it would be nice to see them every now and then rather than once a month or once every two months. There also shouldn't always have to be an occasion for hanging out like a birthday or holiday, true friends hang out just because they want to be around each other.
But lets get back to the issue of flaking.
So heres why flaking upsets me so much. Real friends like their friends to be open and honest. If theres ever a time to hang or go somewhere and you don't want to go, JUST SAY YOU AREN'T GOING, rather than pretending you're going to something where you are well aware you do not want or will make any effort going to. Trust that people are your friends and won't make a big deal about it, I can't tell you how much better I would feel if i'm at least given notice about something like that the day before than finding out the day of. When you decide to tell everyone you're not going to something you lied and said you were going to go to, you ruin their plans as well. It's one thing to not go to something but its another to not think about the effects it may have. You have to realize that the world does not revolve around you, other people could have made plans to do something else rather than waiting for you to go to something you don't plan on going to.
Another thing that is annoying is when people think that them not going is not going to change or impact if other people will go. That is not true. People make their decisions to go to an event or hangout based on who else is going, and the issue with flaking is that if you said you are going than you are impacting other peoples decisions to influence them to go as well. Now if you flake, you put others in a bad situation because they were influenced to go partly because they thought some of their friends were going. Now they look like flakers when they do not want to go. And NO even if there was a better reason for going, like for a particular person, the fact remains that it is a more comfortable environment when you know more people.
Here is what else sucks about flakers, they get caught in lies. They are so caught up in trying to get out of something that they make things up. Things that may seem serious. Now if you are prone to doing this, it makes one assume that one you're lying, or two, you have incredibly coincidental timing of bad things happening. From the outside looking in, which of those two is easier to believe? When you become prone to flaking people start thinking you're making things up and now when something serious actually does happen what basis is there to believe that person? It's like the boy who cried wolf, you can't keep doing that without one day having it come back and haunt you. Sorry but it will only lead to people becoming apathetic about you.
Here's yet another thing. If you decide to flake, why on a BIRTHDAY? This is more of a personal issue with me because this has happened to my girlfriend on her birthday all too often. Theres even been a time when the only person who showed up to her bday was me and her.... I know how bad that can hurt someones feelings first hand so ever since then I've made honest efforts to go to every birthday I am invited to. If you were invited, it was for a reason. It means they think of you as a friend and they would really feel comfortable and would have a better time with you there. Flaking is far worse than saying you are not coming or cant make it earlier. When you flake at the last minute you gave someone a false expectation. You gave the person a little bit of happiness and turned it into an empty feeling.
Close friends. Everyone should have a close circle of friends. A group of people you can tell anything. A group that is different from all others. But with this group comes different expectations and treatment. You can't treat these people like any ordinary friends. These people are supposed to be there for you whenever you need them. Hiding thing from them or lying will only create a gap in friendship that is harder to mend than that of a regular friendship. You're expected to put it in what the others put in to the friendship or more, never less. If you don't feel like you have the capability to do so, don't make it appear as though you can because you're only going to ruin it for everyone else. Don't be selfish. Friendship is a special thing, don't ever say it isn't important because once again, the world does not revolve around you.
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